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Helping to Save a Relationship

“We had very bad problems, but with true love and honesty we overcame even those things.”

LRH’s Tech just keeps on working, when one uses it. And what a pleasure it is to share this kind of result! This couple just completed Scn Marriage Counseling this week, here in the Independent Field:

HIS Success Story:

“My girlfriend and I had tried just about everything to improve our relationship of 1 1/2 years as we felt it was worth saving, but we were struggling with the same issues that kept coming back over and over and over again, and we were both about ready to just give up. 
 
couple-fighting
By the way, prior to doing Scientology Marriage Counseling (MC) we had also tried almost every different method of relationship support available: we read books on relationships, cleansing the room with sage, prayer, journaling, gifts and surprise dates, attending 12 step groups on relationships and co-dependence and even money ones, we went to a couples therapist (which was a total disaster and actually made things worse!), and even going to another group’s  ‘Love & Relationship Course’ (which made us anxious and was essentially just a waste of time and money) – until we finally decided to give the Scientology Marriage Counseling (in the Independent Field)  a shot before calling it quits.
 
I must also admit that I was very scared going into counseling as I feared that my girlfriend knowing my Overts and Withholds would certainly break us up for good, and in fact a few fights did ensue between sessions – and so if there is one thing I would recommend to anyone seriously considering taking the MC, it would be to arrange your schedule with few or no gaps between sessions since a lot of stuff will be coming up and it is tempting to quit when it gets tough.
 
That being said, after each session I noticed that we were willing to talk more and more about the things that mattered to us and we began getting on the same page about our plans and goals together – something we never really did before very effectively.
At the end of the last session, I felt really good about myself, our relationship and my girlfriend, and noticed myself looking at her again as though if for the first time as my feelings of interest and attraction surged back for her! I also realized that I didn’t want to do anything that in the slightest way might harm her or the relationship anymore and so I even volunteered another withhold after the session ended to both her and Randy – and we were both OK and felt totally safe with each other at last!
 
I also made some profound insights about my personal struggles with trust and intimacy stemmed from dramatizing my parents’ failed marriage and my resulting childhood issues – but weren’t really me at the core – were what I was carrying into the relationship. (One thought which occurs to me now is that I wish my parents had used MC while I was growing up as well as my friends and relatives who had good relationships but then struggled and eventually broke up).
 
With this emotional garbage out of the way, we now have space and aren’t hiding from each other anymore. I used to fear that because we had been in a lot of ugly verbal and emotional fights (which even became physical at times) we would never be able to tell our kids or friends that we “hadn’t laid a hand on each other”, but then my girlfriend said something very moving and stays with me in that we can say, “We had very bad problems, but with true love and honesty we overcame even those things.” (And it’s true!)
 
Anyway I am realizing that this counseling is all about restoring the affinity and reality (the “A-R” in “A-R-C”) in us by clearing out the O/W’s so that what is in one person’s world/space is now in the other’s, as well as getting into their reality about how something you did or said could hurt (whether intentional or not isn’t the point it’s how they feel) but without any accusation, shame, blame or guilt.
And now that we’ve handled the clean up I’m ready and excited for the Communication Course which is all about raising communication (the “C” in “A-R-C”)!

Thank you to our phenomenal independent auditor Randy Smith who was patient and never rushed nor forced us in session – in fact, he was very professional even when I yelled at him for not allowing us to go into session when I was exhausted and unsessionable because I “wanted to get it over with quickly” – instead he spent time with us to get me vitamins and minerals my body needed which was why I was angry and tired all the time.
Everything worked just as it should and it was WAY better than at the Church of Scientology’s Celebrity Centre (which actually disclosed her trusted and sensitive private information to me intentionally and shared our struggles with all the staff!).
I HIGHLY recommend Randy Smith, marriage counseling, Independent Scientology! Thank you all and most of all a big thank you to my girlfriend Olga for supporting us and believing in the power of love! :)”
-Ian
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

HERS:

“First off, I want to acknowledge you, Randy for your dedication and patience to be part of this huge support in our lives. It was a quite a challenge (oh boy that was) 🙂 in the beginning but I’ve learned SO much.

 I notice we are drawn to a different gateway to being on our personal path to awakening to a greater experience like we had today at our last session. I also got that my boyfriend Ian and I still need to find our own way of understanding our differences and applying them to our lives.

As we awaken to ourselves and to life, by opening up in communication we will become more attuned to what is right for us.

But only we can decide what truly makes us feel inspired, awakened, connected, fully conscious, aware and alive.

I’ve learned that there is no such thing as a good person or bad person. There are choices and actions that lead us in different directions, and it is through those choices and actions that create our realities.  Instead of labeling ourselves, though, we could simply acknowledge that we made a choice that lead us down a particular path, and just let go, forgive ourselves  and prepare for next opportunity to choose, and act, in ways that support our best intentions.

In addition, I was in a kind of world that, when I looked at myself all I saw was imperfections. Often I’d come to the mirror with expectations and preconceived notions about beauty that blinded me from seeing myself clearly. As a result, I would miss the beauty that is closest to me, the beauty that I am.

I gain so much by cutting through all these obstacles and by simply appreciating how beautiful I am.

I have freed up so much energy.

I am also becoming less dependent upon the opinions and feedback of others, especially from the man I love so dearly.

I released some of my baggage. (finally) Ha! I could go on and on.

Thanks SO much for this. Not LandMark*, other therapists, or the Kabbalah**, allowed me to see clearly the root of the main issues I was dealing with.

young beautiful couple in love plays outdoor

I love the idea of learning and exploring.”

–Olga

* LandMark – a successor to EST, or Erhard Seminar Training, which was an offshoot of Scientology

**Kabbalah – the ancient Jewish tradition of mystical interpretation of the Bible, first transmitted orally and using esoteric methods (including ciphers). It reached the height of its influence in the later Middle Ages and remains significant in Hasidism.

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